Modest As Cake

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

A Celebration of Utter Utility: The Robertson Screwdriver

Canadians: 1
Americans: zip.

In a recent ranking of great Canadian inventions, the Robertson ranked seventh, ahead of the zipper and the retractable beer-carton handle, just one spot behind the pacemaker. But the Robertson is the real lifesaver, rescuing us from both flatheads and Henry M. Phillips’s vastly inferior product. That sham artist actually had the nerve to suggest that his screwdrivers were designed to slip, to prevent “over-tightening.” Up here, there’s no such word.


Sunday, February 24, 2008

Acoustic Politics

Friday, February 22, 2008

A Little Ditty 'Bout Otter, Diane... and Morning Glory

At the end of 1988, the contract with the circus expired,
and Otter, Diane and Morning Glory began planning new
Unicorn ventures. They have produced the world's first
miniature Unicorn, Oberon, and are once again scheduling
appearances. They hope to find a market for miniature
Unicorns as exotic pets and show animals. They are also
planning other cryptozoological projects, including
breeding the legendary Phoenix.
Otter has been trained in Transpersonal Psychology,
Scientology, Ceremonial Magick, Shamanic Witchcraft and
Silva Mind Control. As a Priest of the Mother, he served the
St. Louis Nest of CAW for seven years, administering the
sacraments, training others, conducting encounter groups
and promoting Pagan ecumenicism. And as a Wizard, Otter
has delved deep into the Mysteries of arcane lore and the
transformation of Reality. His primary mission is to be "a
catalyst for the coalescence of consciousness."
Born on Nov. 30, 1942, Otter is a Sagittarius, with Moon
in Virgo and Aquarius rising. His mailing address is: POB
982, Ukiah, CA 95482.

There's more to read, like his search for mermaids, his brief stint as a "counselor in a school for problem children," and of course, his next-door neighbor the mass murderer.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

The Key Word Being "Almost"

It lights up!

Monday, February 18, 2008

It's the day that's de-saturated, not the photo

Crow's Fall

When Crow was white he decided the sun was too white.
He decided it glared much too whitely.
He decided to attack it and defeat it.

He got his strength flush and in full glitter.
He clawed and fluffed his rage up.
He aimed his beak direct at the sun's centre.

He laughed himself to the centre of himself

And attacked.

At his battle cry trees grew suddenly old,
Shadows flattened.

But the sun brightened-
It brightened, and Crow returned charred black.

He opened his mouth but what came out was charred black.

"Up there," he managed,
"Where white is black and black is white, I won."

--Ted Hughes

Is it Spring yet?

Thursday, February 14, 2008

V Day (V is for Vonnegut)

"There's only one rule that I know of, babies -- 'God damn it, you've got to be kind.'"
Thanks, Kurt.