Modest As Cake

Thursday, July 28, 2005

And of course this is only one step away from, yes, a river of blood.

So what's confusing is why the Brothers Tingley had such a scary mom. Why are the fountain waters coming out of the ends of her fingers? Why the zombie, flesh-ripping pose?

But the thing that really caught my eye in the cemetery was the Tingley fountain, dedicated to two brothers, "unmarried both, 'lovely and pleasant in their lives, in death they were not divided'." By the way, a great epitaph: "successful in business and in useful living."

Why, there's more than a few doughnuts in that box there...

Ode to Nord's, "Coupla Long Johns'll straighten yew raht out."

Monday, July 25, 2005

There was no greater disappointment than discovering this gravestone was not equipped with a giant, well-lit, rotating marble chicken bucket. RIP, original recipe.

All knowledge, goodness, and wisdom comes from a small bakery in Louisville KY called Nord's. Plus massive doughnuts that bring tears to your eyes.

Mr. Magic, late of Louisville KY. Needless to say, I don't want to know what he is palming...

and a Louisville view of clam... well, clamshell, anyway. See: "STOP! Baby in a clamshell!"

Compare and contrast: Coney Island view of clams...

This is one of my all-time favorite illustrations of healthcare gone insane. Yes, this would be ideal, if you wanted to have a baby you certainly would want one that fit into a nice lobster pot.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Do You Know This Man? Seen at a cafe in West Virginia. His birthday is July 14, and it would be awfully nice to send him a card.

Kentucky Walgreen's. A volcano lamp.

Also Kentucky. Note that the phantom in purple has no eyebrows, or mouth for that matter.

With apologies to Walt Whitman: O Louisville! my Louisville! our fearful trip is done; The ship has weather'd every rack, the prize we sought is won.

Road trip over, ton o fun. This is a Pegasus in Louisville KY.

Friday, July 01, 2005

News from the very same TNT company: July 2, 2003

"TNT" Reloadable Tube Fireworks are being recalled by American Promotional Events Inc. The firework device has a defective base and can break during launch. If reused, the launching device could then send fireworks in unintended directions, possible causing injury.

There have been two reports of the base of these fireworks devices breaking. No injuries were reported.
The firework device consists of a black base with a multicolored PVC material tube having approximate dimensions of 11 inches high by 1.25 inches in diameter. Each product is sold with six shells with fuses. The product is labeled "Model No. CP983," "Item No 460070," "TNT," and "#1 SELLING BRAND."

Upon closer examination, who's making up the names of these things? "Rising Sun," with a pseudo-Japanese flag and WW2 plane? "TNT Zombies"? "E-Z Glo Punk"? and whut-thuh: "Tequila Sunrise"? Why am I having flashbacks to candy cigarettes and bubble pipes? Some irresponsible marketing to children never dies.

Ready... Light fuse... Run Away!

Toys-R-Us ferris wheel, Monopoly car and Potato-Head car. The poor employees whose job it is to take "official" photos and then try to sell them to you as you leave...

Ferris wheel, Toys-R-Us, midtown Manhattan. Most prized seats: Mystery Machine from Scooby-Doo, Monopoly car. Least-desired: Cabbage-Patch Kids car (dreadful).